How to Win the Breakup

Andrea Lawrence
8 min readMar 5, 2022
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Acing the Breakup

Dealing with a breakup can suck big time. You may want to moan and groan to the entire world about your shambled relationship, but I’m going to help you to shine rather than look like a shriveled-up banana.

If you like Rick and Morty, perhaps this analogy will work for you: after a breakup, you want to look like Beth, not Jerry.

I’m here to help you move on like you’re a chessboard piece making your way into Mario World — that’s right, you’re getting out of that Chess game and into a new universe.

The following steps should help you to get your crap together, so you can project your confident and alluring side. Remember: what you put out into the world is what you’ll attract. So put out your best energy, and you’ll attract someone who is on par with you.

Winning the breakup is all about coming out on the other side stronger than you were before the relationship mess:

  1. You’re not easily controlled by your ex.
  2. Your emotions don’t go wild over little things.
  3. You keep a cool, calm, and collected demeanor.

You win the breakup if you move on successfully rather than getting stuck in the mud or, worse, quicksand.

I’m here to offer you a hand to get you out of that quicksand.

Tips to Win the Breakup

1. Don’t use social media to cry out about your painful breakup. Don’t make passive-aggressive posts about your new ex or ANYTHING related to your past relationship. First off: absolutely none of your Facebook friends care. The only ones who do care are people you can DM, who’ll come over to your house to clean dishes you’ve neglected, and will get a beer with you. I’m talking about your personal circle.

It’s a bad idea to talk about your breakup online. Don’t change that marriage status to divorced until your attorney gives you the go-ahead. Also, if you go on about your marriage on Facebook, your ex could use that against you in court.

2. Grab a garbage bag. Anything and everything that is related to your ex that you don’t need — throw it away. Throw out leftovers in your fridge, sentimental gifts, even clothes. You have the…

Andrea Lawrence

I write articles semi-daily! My areas of interest include relationships, astrology, interior design, recipes, poetry, fiction, movies, TV, and small businesses.